Has Phil Innes Left Us?

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Date: 05 Nov 2008 21:59:16
From: samsloan
Subject: Has Phil Innes Left Us?

Is it really true that Phil Innes has left us?

The last post that I can find from him was dated October 22, 2008.

http://groups.google.com/group/rec.games.chess.analysis/msg/173f0b9af27edf48

Are we to feel like a distraught woman whose husband or lover has
departed, never to return?

I have always felt that Phil Innes performed a vital service to our
community: By being always on the wrong side of the great issues of
our day, he gave us somebody to dump on.

By being the only defender left of the Lovely Miss P and the Vile Mr.
T, and being a very poor defender at that, he gave us somebody to
attack every day, this keeping the issues before us.

(By the way, it is correct to point out that Mark Nibbelin performs
the same service over at the USCF Issues Forum.)

I wonder what caused Phil Innes to leave us. His departure came just
before a new complaint was filed against Miss P and Mr. T over in San
Francisco Superior Court. I somehow doubt that was the reason.

I have always suspected that someone was paying Phil Innes or he was
being rewarded in some way for posting here. Perhaps he got a
commission from bringing traffic to the "Alekhines Parrot" web site.

Has somebody pulled the plug on Phil Innes?

Sam Sloan

Date: 07 Nov 2008 17:49:27
From: EJAY
Subject: Re: Has Phil Innes Left Us?

On Nov 6, 12:59=A0am, samsloan <[email protected] > wrote:
> Is it really true that Phil Innes has left us?
>
> The last post that I can find from him was dated October 22, 2008.
>
> http://groups.google.com/group/rec.games.chess.analysis/msg/173f0b9af...
>
> Are we to feel like a distraught woman whose husband or lover has
> departed, never to return?
>
> I have always felt that Phil Innes performed a vital service to our
> community: By being always on the wrong side of the great issues of
> our day, he gave us somebody to dump on.
>
> By being the only defender left of the Lovely Miss P and the Vile Mr.
> T, and being a very poor defender at that, he gave us somebody to
> attack every day, this keeping the issues before us.
>
> (By the way, it is correct to point out that Mark Nibbelin performs
> the same service over at the USCF Issues Forum.)
>
> I wonder what caused Phil Innes to leave us. His departure came just
> before a new complaint was filed against Miss P and Mr. T over in San
> Francisco Superior Court. I somehow doubt that was the reason.
>
> I have always suspected that someone was paying Phil Innes or he was
> being rewarded in some way for posting here. Perhaps he got a
> commission from bringing traffic to the "Alekhines Parrot" web site.
>
> Has somebody pulled the plug on Phil Innes?
>
> Sam Sloan

He is back.Truth is he never left...

Date: 06 Nov 2008 07:34:36
From: Taylor Kingston
Subject: Re: Has Phil Innes Left Us?

On Nov 6, 10:18=A0am, Offramp <[email protected] > wrote:
> On Nov 6, 2:48=A0pm, Taylor Kingston <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > On Nov 6, 8:45=A0am, "[email protected]" <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > Felix qui potuit rerum cognoscere causas, said Vergil, in his usual
> > > gushy way and which probably only Larry Parr can translate for y'all.
>
> > Comsat melba rubaiyat nirvana
> > Garcia y vega haiwatha aloo
> > O mithra, mithra, I fain wud lie doon!
> > Valdaree valdera, que sera, sirrah
> > Honi soit la vache qui rit,
> > Honi soit la vache qui rit.
>
> How odd that I should have read that same verse for the first time
> just yesterday in the Faber Book of Parodies - it's from Bored of the
> Rings.

Yes! BOTR (1969) is full of absurd spoofs of everything in LOTR. The
authors, Henry Beard and Doug Kenney of the Harvard Lampoon, went on
to found National Lampoon magazine. My old paperback copy gradually
yellowing and falling apart; must see if I can find one in better
condition.
My favorite among their verse parodies is of the inscription on the
One Ring itself:

Ash nazg durbatuluk
Ash nazg gimbatul
Ash nazg thrakataluk
Agh burzum ishi krimpatul

becomes:

Grundig blaupunkt luger frug
Watusi snarf wazoo!
Nixon dirksen nasahist
Rebozo boogaloo

However, even this pales compared to some of the lines spoken by Spam
the Boggie, analogous to Sam Gamgee from LOTR. At one point a hungry
Spam hears a knock on the door, and says "It had better be food,
'cause I'm gonna eat it."

Date: 06 Nov 2008 07:18:05
From: Offramp
Subject: Re: Has Phil Innes Left Us?

On Nov 6, 2:48=A0pm, Taylor Kingston <[email protected] > wrote:
> On Nov 6, 8:45=A0am, "[email protected]" <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>
>
> > Felix qui potuit rerum cognoscere causas, said Vergil, in his usual
> > gushy way and which probably only Larry Parr can translate for y'all.
>
> Comsat melba rubaiyat nirvana
> Garcia y vega haiwatha aloo
> O mithra, mithra, I fain wud lie doon!
> Valdaree valdera, que sera, sirrah
> Honi soit la vache qui rit,
> Honi soit la vache qui rit.

How odd that I should have read that same verse for the first time
just yesterday in the Faber Book of Parodies - it's from Bored of the
Rings.

Date: 06 Nov 2008 06:48:05
From: Taylor Kingston
Subject: Re: Has Phil Innes Left Us?

On Nov 6, 8:45=A0am, "[email protected]" <[email protected] > wrote:
>
> Felix qui potuit rerum cognoscere causas, said Vergil, in his usual
> gushy way and which probably only Larry Parr can translate for y'all.

Comsat melba rubaiyat nirvana
Garcia y vega haiwatha aloo
O mithra, mithra, I fain wud lie doon!
Valdaree valdera, que sera, sirrah
Honi soit la vache qui rit,
Honi soit la vache qui rit.

Date: 06 Nov 2008 05:45:21
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Has Phil Innes Left Us?

On Nov 6, 12:59=A0am, samsloan <[email protected] > wrote:
> Is it really true that Phil Innes has left us?

> I have always felt that Phil Innes performed a vital service to our
> community: By being always on the wrong side of the great issues of
> our day, he gave us somebody to dump on.
>
> By being the only defender left of the Lovely Miss P and the Vile Mr.
> T, and being a very poor defender at that, he gave us somebody to
> attack every day, this keeping the issues before us.

Well, there's a frank admission motivation for what 'us' think, but as
in chess, half a dozen patzers do not a grandmaster make!

> (By the way, it is correct to point out that Mark Nibbelin performs
> the same service over at the USCF Issues Forum.)
>
> I wonder what caused Phil Innes to leave us. His departure came just
> before a new complaint was filed against Miss P and Mr. T over in San
> Francisco Superior Court. I somehow doubt that was the reason.

The true reason is the Polgar Emeralds. I have hidden them in a secret
location on 'Polgar Island' which Rob Mitchell acquired for the Secret
Project Initiative (for the) Coming Era (SPICE) so that they can't be
counted as income - but can be incorporated in a very special chess
set. The Island is located in Vermont, in deep underground caves some
think are of Viking origin.

The precise location is contained in the new chess book, 'The Fire',
by Katherine Neville, although you will need to solve a couple of
clues and be familiar with complex acrostics to solve the riddle and
find your prize!

> I have always suspected that someone was paying Phil Innes or he was
> being rewarded in some way for posting here. Perhaps he got a
> commission from bringing traffic to the "Alekhines Parrot" web site.

The Parrot is merely a column at the #1 chess site in America. And
although I have never taken a red cent for 'commission', OTOH, I have
never been tempted by enough red cents. So who knows? Kind as it is
for Sam Sloan to wantonly speculate - as he says himself, about his
own self-importance - as usual he has never quite understood 2
features of real popularity:-

(1) resolution of subject matter has to clearly benefit /other/ people
(2) you can only make stuff up half the time, not all the time

> Has somebody pulled the plug on Phil Innes?

I'm afraid its one of those 4 letter words - WORK. Shall someone
explain to Mr. Sloan what that is? Especially work on a new and very
viable chess course which avoids scandal as its metier, and engages
the dread pedagogical method so beloved of real educators.

Several people here who actually care to promote chess know what I'm
up to.

Felix qui potuit rerum cognoscere causas, said Vergil, in his usual
gushy way and which probably only Larry Parr can translate for y'all.
If it happens to be a clue to the Emeralds, so be it! But it is not
such a direct clue per viam dolorosam [to pun], as would be pro pelle
cutem.

OK - Back to the Island of 'Morne', and back to sorting emeralds with
the Emir.

Cordially,

> Sam Sloan

Date: 06 Nov 2008 01:46:31
From: Offramp
Subject: Re: Has Phil Innes Left Us?

> Has somebody pulled the plug on Phil Innes?

He's gone for a pint of Guinness.

Date: 05 Nov 2008 22:01:19
From: The Historian
Subject: Re: Has Phil Innes Left Us?